The Colbert Report/Episode/546
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * floor has been replaced with trampoline * what he names his anatomical parts is no one's business but his own ** he will twitter it *** and not with his thumbs * Obama's releasing interrogation techinques * Shepard Smith angers Dr. Colbert ** Katrina ** went after Joe The Plumber * Dr. Colbert says dropping the f-bomb on air is against everything America stands for * Dr. Colbert's Spicy List ** this is America, we do not whack ** turd burglar ** dry hump ** boobies ** circle {beep} * Samuel Jackson ** MOnkey Fighting Snakes on This MOnday to friday Plane! * America does not freakin' say fucking on camera * Monkey fighter with a conscience SEGMENT2 * Americans are angry at lost savings ** and angry at meds for keeping * Note to self: tewak dosage * who to specifically be mad at ** defaulting hiome ** gun control advocates ** things that can be smashed * Hulk Inddpendent * Tonight's Word: Brunt Double * tried blaming economic crisis on ** Jim Cramers * lashing at who ever is handy ** employees at a division of AIG * heckling car models * 3.7 million people laid off in the last 6 month * great business model ** supply and demand * high demand to be angry ** high supply easy target * hire unemployed ** nut punch them ** taser them ** whack them on knee-caps * Win-win * we get our anger out ** we get groceries * Brunt doubles might get angry themselves ** pain it forward * anger bubble may burst * Dr. Colbert's plan doesn't fix things, but his goal is not to fix things ** until we can all agree who to angry at, tearing each other apart is the best thing we've got SEGMENT3 * Dr. Colbert helped Bill Posey ** introduced HR 1503 * Posey's bill failed * couldn't get a co-sponsor * there's no reason to say that Posey is the part alligator ** Dr. Colbert quelled the rumors * another baseless rumor is now rampant ** illegitimate son of an alligator * his grandmother was a notorious crock-tease ** suddenly very ugly * stop the gossip ** requiring him to submit to a DNA test Interview * Elizabeth Bintliff, the West Africa Program Officer for Heifer International ** tube: Heifer International * which sends live animals to developing nations, Dr. Colbert believes the last thing these people need is a pet * She's from Cameroon * livestock ** cows, goats, chickens * feed themselves, sell the surplus * give a man a cow, you feed him for a day ** teach the man to cow, he can feed himself for a lifetime * 50 different species of animals ** very hard to milk a worm * produce manure for crops * Daisy the cow * in over 15 countries ** including the US * also breed * anyone who receives an animal is obligated to give the offspring to others ** promoting pre-marital cow sex *** they try to marry the cows off * run the countries and cows through the terrorist network before including them in the program Epilogue * Dr. Colbert just wants to say, "Good night, Daisy!" Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: File:IntroEBintliff4-23-2009.jpg File:ElizabethBintliff4-23-2009.jpg File:DaisyElizabethStephen.jpg File:DaisyTheCow4-23-2009.jpg Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments